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Five Things You Can Do To Building Resilience In Tough Times

Writer's picture: juan@wbhintl.comjuan@wbhintl.com

Life’s challenges can sometimes feel insurmountable, leaving us feeling discouraged, defeated, and even depressed. While these emotions are natural and understandable, they don’t have to define us. Resilience—the ability to bounce back and adapt in the face of adversity—is a skill we can develop. Here are five effective strategies to strengthen resilience when dealing with major obstacles and tough emotions.

 

1. Accept and Acknowledge Your Feelings

One of the first steps in building resilience is to acknowledge the emotions that come with adversity. Psychologist Susan David, author of “Emotional Agility”, emphasizes that acknowledging our feelings without judgment is essential for growth: “When we push our emotions aside, they get stronger, not weaker.” Suppressing feelings of defeat or discouragement can lead to even greater emotional pain over time. Instead, try allowing yourself to experience these emotions fully.

Acknowledging your feelings also includes understanding that struggling is a natural part of growth. Carl Rogers, a pioneering psychologist, wrote, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Accepting feelings of discouragement is the first step in using them as fuel for change and resilience.

 

Cultivate a Growth Mindset

Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on the growth mindset shows that viewing challenges as opportunities for growth can increase resilience. A growth mindset allows us to see obstacles not as failures but as valuable learning experiences. This perspective shift encourages us to focus on what we can learn from adversity, rather than feeling overwhelmed by it.

In times of struggle, remind yourself of the lessons each challenge brings. As Dweck has noted, “The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.” When faced with failure or setbacks, try to view them as opportunities to build skills, develop new perspectives, and improve your resilience.

“It´s not time to throw your hands up. It´s time to roll up your sleeves!” Kamala Harris

 

 

Focus on Small, Achievable Goals

When dealing with overwhelming challenges, it can help to focus on small, achievable goals. Setting attainable milestones helps create a sense of accomplishment, which can break the cycle of defeat and discouragement. In his book “Atomic Habits”, James Clear highlights the power of incremental progress: “You do not rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.”

By focusing on smaller, manageable actions each day, you build momentum that contributes to long-term resilience. If you’re facing a major challenge, break it down into steps, celebrate small victories, and acknowledge the progress you’re making, even if it feels minimal.

 

Build a Supportive Network

Social support is one of the strongest predictors of resilience. Having a network of supportive friends, family members, or colleagues provides comfort, guidance, and encouragement during difficult times. Research by social scientist Brené Brown shows that connection with others helps alleviate feelings of isolation and defeat. As she says, “We are hardwired to connect with others; it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.”

Reaching out may feel difficult when you’re struggling, but leaning on those who care about you can be incredibly grounding. Share your feelings with someone you trust, seek advice, or simply spend time with people who make you feel understood and valued. This sense of belonging can act as a powerful buffer against despair and loneliness.

 

Practice Self-Compassion

Self-compassion—the ability to treat oneself with kindness and understanding during tough times—is a critical component of resilience. Psychologist Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, explains that self-compassion helps us avoid the spiral of self-criticism and self-doubt that often accompanies failure and defeat. She writes, “With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.”

 

Practicing self-compassion involves three main steps: recognizing that pain and failure are part of the human experience, offering yourself kindness rather than judgment, and being mindful of your own needs. When you’re feeling discouraged or down, try offering yourself words of encouragement, such as, “It’s okay to feel this way,” or, “I am doing the best I can.” This approach doesn’t minimize the difficulty of your experience, but it reminds you that you’re deserving of patience and empathy.


Building resilience is not about “toughing it out” or ignoring pain. It’s about understanding and accepting our emotions, shifting our perspectives, taking small steps, and leaning on others for support. Resilience is a skill we strengthen over time, and setbacks are a part of the journey.


Author Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, once wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” This speaks to the heart of resilience. When we encounter obstacles, we have the choice to develop inner strength, shift our mindset, and adapt. And in doing so, we can turn moments of defeat into catalysts for growth and hope.

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